Friday, 30 July 2010

Le Dernier Despedida

“I will seriously tear up my visa.”

Violent reactions can be heard in Yakimix. We were celebrating my despedida with my high school friends.  It was exactly the same reaction I got when I told my college friends the same thing while were in Subic last week.

“No Josh… I will kill you if you did that,” said Sarah, the friend who initially persuaded me to do this.

“Same here…. It’s just normal to feel scared. But it’s what you really wanted right?”, asked Stacey, the girl whom I can talk about almost everything, except you know what.

“Yeah Josh, I need my supply of hot British men!” Joana exclaimed. She’s the really direct one…. Oh, if only she knew….

“Lucky you man, you have the choice to explore and try out new things. My parents won’t let me do that…” said Sam, the friend who has very strict parents and who doesn’t have a voice of his own.

“But guys, you don’t know how I feel.” Indeed, they don’t know how I feel. I have butterflies in my stomach every single second.

“C’mon Josh. Don’t worry, I’ll follow you next year right?” Sarah said persuasively.

“Yeah, but even if you get accepted to Sweden, it’s still about a few hundred or so miles from London,” I quipped.

“But still, I can visit you and vice versa. Or we can meet halfway in between. It’s settled then… 2011 in Copenhagen, yeah?”

Haha Sarah. She never failed to make me laugh. That’s what I love about her.

As soon as we finished eating by spending a whopping 580 pesos, Stacey suggested that we watch Inception. But since Joana already watched it, and Sam wanted to satisfy his craving of DJ Max (yeah he’s the one I was talking about before), we decided to split up.


“Huy! Josh! Are you still breathing?!” Stacey whispered.

As soon as she said that, I suddenly felt the need to gasp for air. Wow, I wasn’t really breathing. We were in the part where the 4th level dream was penetrated.

The movie’s complexities hadn’t even dawned on me after the lights were back on. It was certainly the movie of the year when people gasped and screamed for more as the totem’s status was kept a secret to viewers.


“A toast for Josh! Don’t forget us even when you have met British friends already ok?” Sarah jeered.


It was in their eyes. We were in Pizza Hut for dinner. Even though it’s not verbal, I can see it. They are happy and sad at the same time. Happy because they can see me realizing my dream, sad because I have to make certain sacrifices in order to get it. I have the same sentiments as well.

 But how can I react to their stares and glares? I am helpless in my own little world. So with that, I leave that unresolved. The final reunion with my physical entity.

Monday, 26 July 2010

Tix and Toiletries


I finally confirmed my plane ticket…. It’s 525 bucks for a single way ticket to London. Damn, it’s so expensive. Then again, I have to get used to it… as if I wasn’t used to European prices, given the 5 months I spent in Europe back during college.

Damn… the toiletries we bought weighed about 2 kilograms already. I still have to pack for winter clothes.

This is going to be a stressful week, I said to myself.

Thursday, 22 July 2010


“Please sign here for me sir.”

As I signed on the postman’s slip, I still can’t believe my eyes. My passport’s back…. After just 2 days. Oh God.

Fearing for the worst, I told everyone at the house to leave me alone for a while whilst opening the package.

And there it was…. a UK Entry Clearance.

I screamed until my lungs were burning. Oh dear. What the hell happened? I mean…. Isn’t it supposed to be within 10 working days? And how come I get this much coveted piece of paper at once, while other people had to apply twice?

I turned on to the other pages. 2 Schengen visas. 1 Chinese visa. 1 US visa. Tens and tens of stamps to Hong Kong, Vietnam, and Thail­and.

Is this the reason? Well, if that is the case, I have to thank my parents, for putting a lot of investment in my passport. I thank them from the bottom of my heart.

But then again, another question arises. Am I… really ready for this? Things are unfolding at an unprecedented rate. I have nil progress since last week…. No flat, no ticket, no job… nil.

I shuddered at the mere thought of it. So…. Is this… really a time for a new beginning?

Monday, 19 July 2010

The 10-Day Wait

“All done! Processing time will take around ten working days. Just wait for updates via phone until then. Thanks!”

Finally, it’s all done. I just passed my visa requirements did the biometrics a while ago after receiving the go signal from my university. Finally.

Being in the British embassy was intimidating in its own way. There are special rules one has to follow, like the no bag rule, no cellular phone policy, and the like. You have to bring the right money and visa requirements, or else your application will be refused right on the spot. It made me more anxious as my mom was telling this story about her client’s nephew, who already spent 28,000 pesos, just to be denied twice…. There are no refunds whatsoever in the British Embassy.

And it didn’t help that it was as early as 9 in the morning, plus some people were just plain clueless, and kept on asking me questions about this and that. Seriously people, do the researching back home.

Oh well, at least it’s over. All I have to do it to wait. Just wait.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

A Day with Basyang

11:00 AM. I had a very vivid dream. I stood up groggily and headed for the light switch.

Click. No response from my room’s light bulb. Damn it, there’s still no power.

Me, along with 14 million Manilenyos, were caught by surprise when Typhoon Basyang made a direct hit at the capital. It’s like Milenyo all over again. It seems PAGASA is like making paasa indeed. Thank God President Aquino reprimanded them.

I had to reach out for my glasses. Damn, there it was…. a 6-inch crack right at my window. Damn it. I had to tell Mom later that it wasn’t my fault. It was Wind’s.

1 message received. It’s from Trix, my college best friend.

“Let’s go out. I am so bored.”

Ok then. Time to visit Libis.

Yehes, there’s electricity in Trix’s house. Good thing I brought all of my gadgets and chargers with me.

“You are such a dakilang user, Josh,” she said in a very sarcastic tone.

“I know, I know, and I am proud of it. Thanks Trix. Hahaha!” I said, leaving Trix even more frustrated with me.

To keep her busy while waiting my cellphones and iPod to get fully charged, we played a few rounds of her Quidditch board game. It didn’t help much since I kept on winning. So I decided to take her dog for a walk outside. Damn. That dog ran like a freaking cheetah hunting for its prey.

“Let’s go to Eastwood,” I said, panting…. Damn that dog.

“Wow Josh, I can’t believe you are so good at this!”

I was teaching her how to play DJ Max Technika, my current favorite arcade game. Good thing there’s electricity in Eastwood, or else I might have gone wild altogether. While she struggled with the red notes, I pressed them all with ease, at a rate of 8 notes per second.

“Trust me, wait ‘til you see my friend. He’s a monster.”

“Haha, you're already a monster to me. Let’s eat then… I am hungry!” she said.

“So, are you really leaving for London?” she asked while munching her McDo Cheeseburger.

“I’m just waiting for the final confirmation from my school,” I said. I really love Trix. She’s the friend I can confide the most about. And thanks to her, what might have been a boring day became a day full of laughter and coeur-to-coeur talk. I will really miss her if ever my further studies plan will push through. Well, she was supposed to take courses in the US this July, but personal problems made her postpone her plans. So, it's just me who will venture in a new land.

“Josh, we should set a despedida or something! How about Subic next week?!” Trix’s eyes gleamed with excitement.

“I’d love to… but-“

“No buts! I will text Kaye, Nica, and Claire right away!” If Trix wants something done, she gets it done. Seems I will have to shed off some pounds before the date.

“Let’s go back to your place shall we… maybe there’s already internet?” I requested.

“Oh Josh, the dakilang user…” she jested. “But seriously, I will miss you…”

“Come on. It’s still too early for that.” But I can feel it… the possibility of being away forever… well, not really forever… but for a long time. 5 years?

Much to Trix’s dismay, there’s already net at her home, and I got to plurk, tweet, and FB about the nasty effects the typhoon has left Manila. I did a bit of tumblring before my sister texted. “There’s already electricity here.” Yeepee. She snorted when I was bidding her farewell.

“Bye user! Finally, I can pack my things for my Cagayan de Oro trip tomorrow!”

“Oh yeah, I forgot… Your flight’s 4AM right? Good luck! Haha!”

“Damn you Josh. Just go look for London flats at home, will ya?!” Oh fuck. I forgot. I have to starting looking for accommodation if I want to have a place to live if ever I arrive there next month.

“Don’t forget next week’s Subic Josh. We’re excited for it!” She ushered me to my car.

“Fine fine… see ya then!” And off I zoomed.

Monday, 12 July 2010

The Fury of the Rojas

“Josh, haven’t you slept yet?”

It was 5:30 AM. Mom just woke up. She always checks on me and turns off the air-conditioning unit. However, in this rare occasion, I am also awake.

“Yeah, I’ll sleep now. Can you leave the aircon on for me?”

“Sure, son… just go to sleep… This football thing is over yeah?” she asked.

I nodded. It’s the FIFA World Cup 2010 Final between Netherlands and Spain. I was having a hard time streaming it because of the uber slow Smart Bro connection, but I had to watch this match along with about 700 million people across the world.

My top 2 bets were England and Germany because of the ties I had with these two countries. However, when Germany defeated England, and Spain defeated Deutschland, I had to search for another EU country, which would then be Spain. And of course, the their players were also hotter to begin with.

How are my cousins and titas in Spain, I wondered. The streets must be full of drunkards celebrating the country’s first ever World Cup win. Oh how I wish I am in Barcelona right now. I can chant along with them, with red, yellow, and orange colors scattered around the nation. For now, it can indulge itself with a lot of beer and fiestas. Viva La Furia Roja!

Saturday, 10 July 2010

A New Beginning?

I am still not sure about my future. Based from the progress, it seems probable that I will be venturing in a new land… a land where royalties exist, and teatime is of essence: United Kingdom.

Actually, my first choice was Sweden, but because of an unsuccessful application, I had to think about other choices. I saw a poster in my school talking about courses offered in London that gives discounted tuition fees for Filipinos, and I decided to try it out. And here I am, waiting just to see if I am successful in the final step of the application.

Since I am not yet ready to face the hardships of the corporate world, I will just lie low first and study again. I already set up that plan even before graduation. With some big companies already giving me job offers, I had to refuse them, much to my friends’ and parents’ dismay. Yes, they don’t seem to understand that I am not ready for work life. I am not yet ready to restrict myself from experiencing the world.

Who knows, studying abroad might mean new friends…. and a potential love spark?

Damn it, Josh. This is getting the best of you.

Friday, 9 July 2010

Maiden Post

Hi, My name is Josh.

Let's get things straight... I am gay. Wow, talk about wordplay.

I am not a lit major nor a creative human being, so telling stories or conveying ideas will be a pain in the arse for me... I do have to apologize in advance.

I just want to let the skeletons in my closet roam free in cyberspace as I am still struggling in the constant search of belonging and finding my real identity.

I am also debating whether to start my life snippets from the sixth grade, or from the present time, since there is a lot to talk about recently.

Travel is my obsession. Give me the latest fashion outfits or the most expensive gadgets and I will just sigh in disbelief. Give me a ticket to Ibiza, or the Baltic States, and I will be your most awesome buddy you will ever have. :)

My long term goal is to have followers who have the same aspirations/experiences, but even though I might not be as successful as other bloggers out there, I just want to let it all out... what it's like to trek to the other side of down...