The Treachery

It’s Friday once again, and Gene, Tina, and Art were once again dragging me for a night out with them.

“Come on Josh, we know you’ve already received your first pay!” Art sneered, as we went down London Bridge station.

“Libre, libre!” Gene chanted.

I am not really a fan of eating out, especially in London. But well, since I just got my first payslip, maybe I should give “myself” a treat. Note: myself, not them.

“So where should we go then?” Gene asked. We were standing by the big Tube map inside the station.

“How about Canary Wharf?” I suggested.

“Been there, and it’s far!” Gene exclaimed.

“How about Cheese-weeck?” Art said, pointing to the station on the District line that spelled ‘Chiswick.’

“It’s Chis-ick!!!” Wow. I can’t believe all three of us said it in unison. Art has this bad habit of not taking note of the different pronunciations of British place names, such as ‘Tot-num’ for Tottenham, ‘Hoe-bun’ for Holborn, and ‘Les-ter’ for Leicester.

“Act like a Londoner, will you?” I demanded. But I like the way he’s confused with these things. It makes him so lovable. Shit.

“How about Marble Arch? I wanna check out the large Primark store there,” said Tina.

“Hmm, great idea. I wanna check something out as well. Marble Arch then,” Gene seconded her suggestion.

“Cool, let’s go there then. It’s just near To-ten-ham,” Art interjected.

The three of us gave him a piercing glare.

-----

“We’re so lucky, man!” Art said. “There were those hot gals standing beside us in the Tube.”

“Yeah, yeah, so lucky indeed,” I said boringly. Damn it Art, stop doing this to me.

I zipped my jacket tightly as we got off at Bond Street station. It was 8 degrees, but people seemed not to care as they just went on with their shopping and strolling.

I looked around. Shops were starting to do their Xmas sales already. After a few minutes, we finally arrived at the huge Primark in Oxford Street. It’s like Britain’s version of Landmark, where all garments can be bought at like 50% cheaper than other retail outlets. Here’s the catch though… it’s always jampacked!

While Tina and Gene checked some dresses out on the ground floor in Primark, Art and I checked out the men’s coats in the first floor. I have to buy something for winter as soon as possible.

“Try this out.” Art handed me this extra small grey trench coat. I tried it on.

“Wow, it looks good on you, my fellow Londoner,” he said, smiling.

I checked the tag price…. 30 quid. Fudge.

“Oh come on, Josh, it will be useful for you for the colder months ahead. Besides, you’ll earn that 30 quid again in a day’s time.”

Somehow, Art has this power of persuasion that can make me do almost anything… except divulging my deepest, darkest secrets… not to mention that I have a ‘slight’ crush on him.

“Oh fine,” I muttered, as I headed off to the counter.

-----

“Aba, Josh is already spending some money, finally!” Tina jeered.

We were in Garfunkels in Bond Street having our dinner. It helped a bit as Art agreed to share this big BBQ platter with me for 20 pounds. So I just need to write off a tenner as dinner expense. Jeez.

After finishing our meal, we asked for the change. The waitress gave us a tenner and some coins. We wanted to distribute the change evenly, so I asked her if we can have two fivers.

She came back with the two fivers, put the first one on the table, then the next thing that happened was unthinkable.

She put the second one in her pocket.

I was in a state of shock. Apparently (I researched this one as soon as I got home), when you ask the staff for breakdown of money, they will take 50% of it as their tip.

Jesus. I didn’t know. In a state of confusion and chaos, Gene, Art, and Tina scampered for the remaining change remaining on the table.

I was a little bit too late. They took all of it.

For those dimwits out there who can’t count, I will say it in a very simple way: It was as if I was the one who gave the tip to the waitress.

5 quid. What. The. Fuck.

“Guys, can’t we share the unexpected tip?” I pleaded.

“No, Josh, since it’s your first pay, you have to show some goodwill,” Art said. I stared at him in disbelief.

“I really have some change you know,” said Tina. Umm, I also have some change, you know.

“Look,” Gene pointed to the wretched waitress, “she looks very thankful!”

------

As we were walking back to Bond Street station, I kept on pleading to help share some of the burden.

“I’m still new here, so help me, please?”

“It’s just 5 pounds, just leave it ok?” Gene said a bit impatiently. I’ve had it. This just ticked me off.

“I’ll go back to Primark tomorrow to return my coat and get my 30 quid back. I never tip in Manila, and you guys are asking me to give 350 pesos as tip? This is madness.”

I didn’t even wait for them, as I quickly zoomed past the ticket barriers.

"Thanks for giving me such great new friends," I muttered, as I stepped inside the platform.

And my crush over Art dissipated almost instantly.